Report 2011 Anger and Rage in Men over 30 years old:
Summary: Bottom line answers from...Anger Research on Anger Management and Anger Addiction Treatments, Anger Classes, Anger 12 Step Groups, Anger Courses and Anger Counseling. Report concludes most Anger Therapy Doesn’t Work...
OK...ANGER TREATMENT FAILS MEN...
WHY? Because of the subconscious fight or fight response…programmed in childhood that uses the natural responses from the fight or flight response to be addicted to anger.
What is the fight "or the response of flight?" This fundamental physiologic response forms the foundation of modern day stress medicine and can lead to anger addiction.
If you over 30 Years of age and still dealing with Anger Issues...CLICK THIS LINK TO READ WHY:
Understanding Anger Addiction for you or a loved one.
If it is your partner that you are concerned about, feel free to read on in the link above about anger. You may gain some understanding into the mechanisms of rage and anger. Please know this: You are NOT responsible for your partner's anger. You did not "trigger" it or cause the anger outbursts to happen. Even if you are being blamed...
Fight Flight and Freeze
The "fight or flight…freeze response is our body primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to "fight" or "flee" from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.
The stressor
What happens to us when we are under stress excessive? When we experience excessive stress, whether internal or external sources-a circumstance worry bodily reaction is triggered, called the "fight or flight" (and freeze) response.
Harvard physiologist Walter Cannon
Originally discovered by the great Harvard physiologist Walter Cannon, this response is hard-wired in The Brain and represents a genetic wisdom designed to protect us from bodily harm. This response actually corresponds to an area of our brain called the hypothalamus, which, when stimulated, initiates a firing sequence of cells nervous and chemical release that prepares our body to run, freeze or fight.
What are the warning Signs
What are the signs that our fight or freeze or flight response has been stimulated (activated)? When our fight or flight response is activated, sequences of nerve cell firing occur and chemicals such as adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol are released into our bloodstream.
The trigger
These nerve-pathways ‘firing patterns’ of nerve cells and release chemicals that cause our body to a series of very dramatic changes. Our respiratory rate increases. Blood is diverted away from our digestive tract and directed into our muscles and limbs, which require extra energy and fuel to run and fight. Our pupils dilate. Our awareness intensifies. Our sight sharpens. Our impulses quicken. Our perception of pain diminishes. Our immune system mobilizes with greater activation. We got to be prepared, both physically and psychologically to fight or flight. We explore and search our environment, "looking for the enemy." When the fight or flight system is activated, we tend to perceive everything in our environment, as a possible threat to our survival.
Anger addiction takes counseling…
By its very nature, the fight or flight system ignores our rational mind, where our more well thought out beliefs exist and moves us into "attack" mode. This state of alert that makes us feel…feels that almost everything in our world as a potential threat to our survival. Therefore, we tend to see everything and everyone as a potential enemy. Like airport security during a terrorist threat, we are in search of all possible hazards. We overreact to the slightest comment. Our fear is exaggerated. Our thoughts are distorted. We see everything through the filter of a possible danger. We narrow our focus to the things that can hurt us.
Understand this and you are going in the right direction:
Anger addiction is Fear…Fear becomes the lens through which we see the world. We can begin to see how it is almost impossible to cultivate positive attitudes and beliefs when we are stuck in survival mode. Our heart is not open. Our rational mind is off. Our consciousness is focused on fear, not love. Make clear decisions and recognizing the consequences of those choices is unfeasible.
Focusing on short-term survival is not the long-term consequences of our beliefs and choices. When we are overwhelmed by excessive stress, our life becomes in a series of emergencies in the short term. We lose the ability to relax and enjoy the moment. We live from crisis to crisis, with no relief in sight.
Burnout is inevitable.
This is what you wear usually provides the motivation to change our lives for the better. We are compelled to take a step back and look at the big picture of our lives, forcing us to examine our beliefs, our values and our goals.
Where are all the Saber tooth tigers?
What is our fight or flight system designed to protect us from? Our fight or flight response is designed to protect us from the proverbial saber tooth tigers that once lurked in the woods and fields around us, threatening our physical survival. At a time when our actual physical survival is threatened, there is no greater response to have on our side.
Can you lift a car over your head?
When activated, the fight or flight response causes a surge of adrenaline and other stress hormones to pump through our body. This increase is the force responsible for raising cars from mothers to their children trapped and for firemen heroically running into blazing houses to save endangered victims. The increase of adrenaline imbues us with heroism and courage in times where they are called to protect and defend life and the values we cherish.
What are the saber-toothed tigers in 2011 and why are they so dangerous?
When faced very real dangers to our physical survival, the fight or flight response is invaluable. Today, however, most saber tooth tigers we are not a threat to our physical survival. Saber-tooth tigers of today consist of hours of heavy traffic, lack of a deadline, bouncing a check or have a discussion with your boss or spouse. However, these modern times, saber-toothed tigers induce the activation of our fight or flight system, as if our survival was in physical danger.
Every day, toxic stress hormones flow into our bodies to events that pose no real threat to our physical survival.
Once you have activated it, what is the natural conclusion of our fight or flight response?
Fight Flight and Freeze
By its very design, the fight or flight response makes us fight or flee, both the creation of huge amounts of muscle movement and physical exertion.
This physical activity effectively metabolizes the stress hormones released as a result activation of the fight or flight response.
Once the fight is over, and the threat-which triggered the reply has been removed then our body and mind go back to a state calm.
Has the fight or flight responses become counterproductive?
In most cases today, once our fight or flight response is activated, we can’t escape. We can’t fight. We can’t physically run from our perceived threats. When confronted with modern times, saber-toothed tigers, we have to sit in our office and "control of ourselves." We have to sit in traffic and "deal with it." We have to wait until the bank opens to "handle" the bounced check.
Rage and Aggression
In short, many of the important current tensions induce full activation of our response of fight or flight, causing us to become aggressive, hyper-vigilant and responsive. This aggression and excess reactivity and hyper-vigilance causes us to act or respond in ways that are actually counterproductive to our survival.
Road Rage
Consider road rage in Los Angeles and other major cities. It is counterproductive to punch the head (the fight response) when s / he activates our fight or flight response. (Although it might bring temporary relief to our stress!) Is counter to escape the boss (the flight response) when s / he activates our fight or flight response. All this leads to a difficult situation in which our automatic, predictable response and unconscious fight or flight behavior generated that can actually be counterproductive and run counter to our psychological and emotional spiritual survival.
If you over 30 Years of age and still dealing with Anger Issues...CLICK THIS LINK TO READ WHY:
The risk is high
Is there a cumulative risk of over-activation fight or flight response? Yes, the evidence is overwhelming that there is an accumulation of stress hormones accumulated. If not metabolized over time, stress excess can lead to disorders of our autonomic nervous system (causing headache, irritable bowel syndrome, high blood pressure and the like) and disorders our endocrine and immune systems (creating susceptibility to infections, chronic fatigue, depression and autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and allergies.)
Do you have anger addiction?
Physical symptoms:
To protect ourselves today, consciously pay attention to signs of fight or flight to protect ourselves in a world of psychological, rather than physical danger, consciously pay attention to signals that tell us only if we are really in the fight or flight. Some of us may have these signals as physical symptoms like muscle tension, headache, upset stomach, and increased heart rate, with a deep sigh or breath superficial.
Emotional symptoms:
Others may experience them as emotional or psychological symptoms such as anxiety, poor concentration, depression, hopelessness, frustration, anger, sadness or fear. Excess stress does not always appear as the "feeling" of being stressed. Many stresses go directly to our physical body and only can be recognized by the physical symptoms manifest.
Check your Eyes and Teeth
Two excellent examples of stress-induced conditions are "eye twitching" and "Teeth-in grain. "Instead, we can" feel "a lot of emotional stress in our emotional and physical body are very few symptoms or signs in our body.
The choice is yours! It is all about choice. Choice is power.
You have the power to control your anger.
You will begin to understand: " Who I will be is up to me. "
People from all walks of life suffer from anger control problems. If you struggle with anger, there is help available. Is the cost of your anger greater than the benefit you get from your anger?
Your health
Your self-esteem
Your relationships
Your children
The workplace
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems.
Work
Problems at work? In your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
Anger Addiction Research
Research shows that anger is bad for your health and general well being. Angry people apparently have shorter life spans and are ill more often than other people.
Anger Stats
Uncontrolled anger is a major factor in domestic violence and spousal abuse, in aggressive driving violations, in workplace disagreements and disruptions, in marital problems and in family fights.
Anger management counseling
If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider anger management counseling to learn how to handle it better.
Counselors can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior. The goal of anger management is to reduce both your intense emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
TLM offers a ten or longer anger week Anger Management Education and counseling Program. Clients meet with a counselor once a week for 10 weeks. The Anger Management Program is individualized with one-hour sessions geared to meet the needs of each participant. Anger Certificate is given upon completion if necessary for court.
Key words
Anger Addiction Anger Management Group Therapy Anger Group Classes FAIL...Read above why... Anger psychology anger stress management, anger courses Anger Treatment Anger management Counseling with Anger management Counselors and Anger Therapists Anger Management Centers, Treatment Groups, Classes, Techniques...
If you over 30 Years of age and still dealing with Anger Issues...CLICK THIS LINK TO READ WHY:
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Anger Management
The choice is yours! It is all about choice. Choice is power.
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
--Attributed to Queen Elizabeth I of England (1533-1603)
Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
--James Thurber
Its time we stop worrying, and get angry you know? But not angry and pick up a gun, but angry and open our minds.
--Tupac Amara Shakur
Anger warms the Invention, but overheats the oven.
--Benjamin Franklin
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
--Ambrose Bierce
If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase.
--Epictetus
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.
--Buddha
Anger is a wind, which blows out the lamp of the mind.
--Robert Ingersoll
There is no passion so much transport the sincerity of judgment as doth anger
--Michel de Montaigne
Doc Children and Howard Martin, Heart Math Solution
Physiologically, it simply doesn't matter whether your anger is justified or not. The body doesn't make moral judgments about feelings; it just responds.
Doc Children and Howard Martin, Heart Math Solution
Resentment, anger, frustration, worry, disappointment—negative emotional states, justified or not, take a toll on your heart, brain and body. Don't let justified emotions rob your health and well being.
Doc Children and Howard Martin, Heart Math Solution
So if we can't express it or repress it, what do we do when we feel angry? The answer is to recognize the anger, but choose to respond to the situation differently. Easier said than done, right? Can you actually imagine trying to strong-arm your anger into another, more amicable feeling? It would never work. Determination alone won't work. It takes a new intelligence to understand and manage our emotions. By getting your head and heart in coherence and allow-in the heart's intelligence to work for you, you can have a realistic chance of transforming your anger in a healthy way.
Doc Children and Howard Martin, Heart Math Solution
Often we think we won't take needed action, whether in a confrontation or in getting something important done, without being propelled by our anger. While anger can give us a short burst of energy, until we manage the anger, we can't see what action would be best to take. The information is simply not available. The emotions have short-circuited the pathway in the brain that helps us see the most appropriate action to take.
Doc Children and Howard Martin, Heart Math Solution
We all know people who say: "It's the principle of the matter" to justify sustaining toxic emotions for years. As they hold onto their anger or hurt, they bleed away their energy reserves, often ending up bitter and depressed.
Doc Children and Howard Martin, Heart Math Solution
When we consciously choose a core heart feeling over a negative feeling, we effectively intercept the physiological stress response that drains and damages our systems and allow the body's natural regenerative capacities to work for us. Instead of being taxed and depleted, our mental and emotional systems are renewed. As a consequence, they are better able to ward off future "energy eaters" like stress, anxiety and anger before they take hold.
Doc Children and Howard Martin, Heart Math Solution
Learning to "just say no" to emotional reactions isn't repression. Saying no means not engaging the frustration, anger, judgment, or blame. Without engagement, you won't have anything to repress.
Leo Buscaglia
Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.
Booker T. Washington
I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.
Helen Douglas
Character isn't inherited. One builds it daily by the way one thinks and acts, thought-by-thought, action-by-action. If one lets fear or hate or anger take possession of the mind, they become self-forged chains.
HW Longfellow
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm any hostility.
Marcus Aurelius
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
John Dryden
Beware of the fury of the patient man.
Unknown
Sticks and stones may break your bones when there's anger to impart. Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.
Lord Halifax
Anger is seldom without an argument but seldom with a good one.
Unknown
Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp's nest.
Chuck Norris
Men are like steel: when they lose their temper, they lose their worth.
Tryon Edwards
To rule one's anger is well; to prevent it is still better.
Marcus Antonius
Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.
Cato
An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes.
W. R. Alger
Men often make up in wrath what they want in reason.
Golda Meir
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
St. Francis De Sales
There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.
Chinese Proverb
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
Shakespeare
Men in rage strike those that wish them best.
Elizabeth Kenny
He who angers you conquers you.
Greek
Those who the Gods would destroy
First they would make angry
Halliburton
When a man is wrong and won't admit it, he always gets angry.
John Steinbeck
In the souls of the people the grapes of wrath are filling and growing heavy, growing heavy for the vintage.
Willard Gayle
Expressing anger is a form of public littering.
Henry Beecher
Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.
Tamil proverb
Great anger is more destructive than the sword.
Pythagoras
Anger begins with folly and ends with repentance.
Pasquier Quesnel
Anger causes us often to condemn in one what we approve in another.
Charles De Gaulle
When I am right, I get angry. Churchill gets angry when he is wrong. So we were often angry at each other.
Alfred Mont pert
Every time you get angry, you poison your own system.
Daniel Webster
Keep cool; anger is not an argument.
Thomas Halliburton
When a man is wrong and won't admit it, he always gets angry.
Thomas Fuller
Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.
Clarendon
Anger is the most impotent passion that accompanies the mind of man; it effects nothing it goes about; and hurts the man who is possessed by it more than any other against whom it is directed.
Jefferson
When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.
Thomas a Kempis
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.
Proverbs 14:17a
He that is soon angry dealt foolishly...
Benjamin Franklin
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Seneca
He is a fool who cannot be angry; but he is a wise man who will not.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man makes inferiors his superiors by heat; self-control is the rule.
Anger is an uncontrollable feeling that betrays what you are when you are not yourself.
Anger is that powerful internal force that blows out the light of reason.
Know this to be the enemy: it is anger, born of desire.
Dr. Robert Anthony
The angry people are those people who are most afraid.
Thomas Fuller
Anger is one of the sinews of the soul; he that lacks it has a maimed mind.
Horace
Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.
Walter S. Landor
The flame of anger, bright and brief, sharpens the barb of love.
George Jean Nathan
No man can think clearly when his fist is clenched.
William Shenstone
Think when you are enraged at anyone, what would probably become of your sentiments should he die during the dispute.
Elizabeth Kenny
My mother used to say, "He who angers you, conquers you!" But my mother was a saint.
Eric Hoffer
The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.
Frederick Buchner
Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back--in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.
Thomas a Kempis
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.
William Blake
I was angry with my friend
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry at my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
A Poison Tree
If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? ~Sydney J. Harris
There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen. ~Alexander Dumas
He who angers you conquers you. ~Elizabeth Kenny
For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Author Unknown
Anger is one letter short of danger. ~Author Unknown
Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge. ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. ~Will Rogers
Never write a letter while you are angry. ~Chinese Proverb
The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough. ~Bede Jarrett
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966
Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~Malachy McCourt
Anger as soon as fed is dead -
'Tis starving makes it fat.
~Emily Dickinson
If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb
Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger. ~Chinese Proverb
Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. ~Albert Einstein
No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched. ~George Jean Nathan
Anger is momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you. ~Horace, Epistles
Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love. ~George Eliot
If you're angry with a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997
Anger blows out the lamp of the mind. ~Robert G. Ingersoll
Spite is never lonely; envy always tags along. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them. ~James Fallows
Anger and folly walk cheek by joule. ~Benjamin Franklin
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. ~Author Unknown
Malice drinks one-half of its own poison. ~Seneca
Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him. ~Louis L'Armour
Never strike your wife - even with a flower. ~Hindu Proverb
Anger is a bad counselor. ~French Proverb
Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins. ~Neil Kinnock
To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. ~William H. Walton
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. ~Jacqueline Schiff
Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved. ~Marcus Antonius
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If you over 30 Years of age and still dealing with Anger Issues...CLICK THIS LINK TO READ WHY:
